Pixel Imperfect

I'm breaking tradition here. Every fall for the past three years, I have left with my youth group to attend the annual fall retreat. Well, guess who couldn't get out of work on Saturday. It was so weird not to go... I'm really sad. I miss them a lot... I'm way jealous.... Ahhh, I'm so upset...

Jack: Come on, Will! I'm all set! I've even got my surprise underwear on! Will: You mean, no underwear? Jack: That's the surprise! Will: I was wondering if you'd be the baby's godfather Jack: *Gasp* Really! Will: Well, his fairy godfather

I sez to her, I sez, "You know what I should do? I should make reservations at a fancy restaurant. Then go there in my nicest dress and sit for, like, an hour "waiting." Then... run out in tears!" Huh? Huh? Ya like?

Ben Affleck is my favorite hottie... The Sum of All Fears Pearl Harbor Bounce Forces of Nature Shakespeare in Love Armageddon Good Will Hunting Ahhhhh, yes... sigh... If only he knew I existed....

I don't know who I am. I'm trying to figure myself out, but I don't know how. I want to know more about myself. Isn't that sorta weird. But, I want to find my individuality. I think a lot of what I do is based on other people. Some of the times that I have been myself, I've been insulted and criticized. Anyway, I'm going to sleep...

"Sometimes I feel so much love... I feel my heart will burst.... The peculiarity is in view of the lack of feeling I once had. When I feared my insides would swallow me whole ... for lack of sustenance."* "Everyday, I am thankful for you. I fear nothing when you are near, except that you may leave. The darkness that once filled my soul has been washed away, and my heart rejoices for the gladness of our being."* * exerts from "Because You Love Me" by Mary Veronica

"You gotta give a little, take a little, and let your poor heart break a little. That's the story of, that's the glory of love. You gotta win a little, lose a little, and always have the blues a little. That's the story of, that's the glory of love. As long as there's the two of us, we've got the world and all it's charm. But when the world is through with us, we've got each other's arms..."

Yessss! I started my job today! Okay, so like, I had to wake up at FIVE THIRTY in the AM! But I fell back asleep and woke up at 6:14 and had about... eleven minutes to get ready! Blah. But I get to work on time. So, I (along with Jayne) am the newest "Stock Replenisher" at J.C. Penney's Haywood Mall. The work was good. It really was. Time flies when you're busy, and this day was a big fat blur! Anyway, I spent most my day ripping plastic and moving merchandise. Fun, huh? Well, you could say that, but I might not. But it was good. Really

OMG! How much more fun can a day get? Okay, so I get my license (YEEEAAA!), then I go to J.C. Penney's and talk to da boss man. Then I go have lunch with dad and mom *yess free schlotsky's!*. Then... I get to drive.. by my self... for the very first time.... OMG I feel like I could book it and run away to Toronto if I wanted to (i'd make a detour to New London of course!). Not that I want to run away, but the knowledge that I can if I wanna... its very freeing. Anyway, after that, I got my cell phone and chilled at home for a while. Went to the mall to meet Tiffany and then we went down town. We ran into Jeff, Grace, Anyway, we stood and talked for a long time (more fun than it sounds... esp with the neo-hippies trying to sell us cd's, and the screaming bob jones evangelists) then went to eat at Wild Wing Cafe. Then we all left and me and tiffany had this guy hold up the gate thingy at the parking garage so we didn't have to pay b/c we spent all our money at dinner!

BLOOD SUGAR SEX MAJIK OH YEA

Sometoymachine signed off at 12:21:45 AM. Sometoymachine signed on at 12:21:46 AM. Sometoymachine: stupid computer FairiKitty: stupid gide--- i mean, yea stupid computer Sometoymachine: oh yeah u funn..i mean UHD JOPE!!! FairiKitty: haha

GERRBRARRRGHHHLLLAAAAA!!! I just had a fight with my sister ... So, I did what came naturally... The laundry... DUH!

I TOLD YOU! I told you they would forget about me! I didn't take my test today. Nope. Maybe tomorrow. HA! Yea right. I was hoping to have it by Tuesday or Wednesday, but I doubt it.

I'm going to try and watch we were soldiers again today...

It is now officially Thursday, September 5th. "Are those frickin' sharks with frickin' lazer beams on their frickin' foreheads?" You be Smash, I'll be Glitter, and you can be Yo-Boy! We'll cruise the world -- the country --or part of it at least, in The Red! After all, Roxie's not a convertible.

Some one who I thought was my friend, but sometimes, people just pretend.... Why can't you just love me? Please don't push to hard. The truth you think you're after might just break my heart... -the beu sisters

I can see it now. He’s fuming. He really wants to yell at me. I’m sitting at the computer and typing. He’s trying to sleep in the living room (what’s wrong with his bedroom?). I’m “typing to loudly.” So, he hates me for it. Oh, you laugh, but I jest you not. And I, the indifferent one, shrug at his immature fury. Do you wonder how people can care so little about love? How can you “fuck a girl’s brains out” and walk out on her the next morning? How indecent. What is this world that I live in?

You know, if there’s one thing that makes me cry, it’s watching women get telegrams in war movies. I hate the military. Actually I love it, but I hate the risk that we must take. My friend Nick didn’t cry when he watched [We Were Soldiers]. I watched just a few minutes of it. The part where she's giving the telegrams to the women, and I'm crying. Because maybe, I think that someday, what if I get a telegram. Well, I don’t think they do telegrams anymore. I wouldn’t know. But you know, I know so many people in the Military. I must admit, I’m sitting here on the computer taking random glances at the TV while “We Were Soldiers” is playing. I’m horrified by the occasional glances. I hate war. It terrifies me. I love war movies. I have never met a war movie I couldn’t watch. Until now. The producers and directors and whatever did a superb job.

FairiKitty: Whats up? Jaffman48: not too much, just started school, am kinda depressed about it FairiKitty: I'm Sorry.... FairiKitty: Doing my nails always makes me feel better, you should try that Jaffman48: LMAO Jaffman48: hey that gave me a smile Jaffman48: maybe ill try it FairiKitty: lol :-) Yea Jaffman48: so what color do u think I should go with :-D FairiKitty: I just did my nails today. Half pink, half blue, and a little sparkle, but you should just try something simple...Hmm I think that a traditional coral will go well with your skin tone Jaffman48: aww...u think Jaffman48: it might look really cute huh FairiKitty: Totally!

I tell you that I’m okay Won't you believe that I'm just fine Memorize it each time I say it Believe me when I say that I'll always be okay. Why can't you just learn the lie Oh yea. I'm just fine

Kwski Prairie650: cool..a girls night out? CJPsAngel: yea Kwski Prairie650: why isnt your b/f goin? CJPsAngel: ...because he's a guy....

Alright You'll realize everything's alright I don't need no - help from - anybody You'll see that I am - always - alright I wish we could - just be - alright Why can't you treat me right...

Stupid Idea of the Day: "Hmm, I think I'll paint my nails blue while sitting on my mothers cream colored carpet. *ten minutes later* Oooooh, that was a bad idea. Hmmm, I wonder if that carpet cleaner will work on this...

Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any Sense of compassion Between supposed lovers

I was only trying to keep the walls from closing in I was only waiting ‘round for something to begin I was only seventeen I told you that it didn’t mean a thing Actually I was sixteen. And I didn’t care. I’m sorry. I hope you never have to go through what I went through my dear. And if I have any say, you won’t. Because I will love you forever. And forever, I’ll love you.

Meet Virginia. I am Virginia. I am that girl that you crave. I am the one whom you write about; of whom you sing. I am her. I am she. Feminine Beauty. Perfection. A woman's touch? Yes, just like that. That should do. HOW DO I FEEL? One cannot say. It is all a mix of patches and stiches. What if I stumble, what if I fall? Besta not. We'll still love you just the way you are, if you're perfect. I AM PERFECT! THIS IS ME ! THIS IS MY ART FORM!

him: how do you feel? me: how do I feel? I often find it impossible to answer that truthfully. I can't find words of how I feel. That's why I write poetry. Expression him: write me a poem me: you realize I'll have to perfect it before I show it to you Let Me Fall Sometimes I fall I smile, delirious Don't try and catch me Coz, really, it's alright I'll float down Like the rushing wind No, it's alright! Enjoy the sensation And I'm ten feet and closing But still... it's alright Totally oblivious And I'll smile 'til I land If you only let me fall I'll be alright -MVH

I think that tomorrow is going to be one of those days in which I don't eat. I feel that it will be one of those days when I don't care about myself. I feel that coming on. I feel that I will stop caring about life until the ninth of September (the day which I start packing for CT). I will dress how I want to. But I will care naught of my body. Why? No why. I just get like this some times. Don't worry. Like I always say "I'm always fine. I'll always be okay." There really is no need to ever worry about me. "I love you I walked with you once upon a dream" For better or for worse...

Okay, so my and my friend Jon from youth group went to the movies. I didn't think anything about it. I think: two friends going to the movies. However, when he started to try and put his arm around me (which I defiantly ignored) I realized that he had suddenly "forgotten" all the times that I talked about YOU. Anyway, I guess guys and girls can't go to movies anymore just as friends, eh? Well, except Andrew. He's always good for a a great platonic movie. I mean, what was sk8er boi THINKING? He's 14, I'm 17. Even if I was free, which I really don't plan on ever again, I wouldn't date him. WHY CAN"T GUYS AND GIRLS BE FRIENDS! Grr.