Pixel Imperfect

Feeling extremely emotionally overwhelmed. Just had a talk with Dan that even I was offered the dream job right now, I don't think I could take it. Not right now, I'd need mental health time off. I'd need to take in a few months from now. Glad I have the part time gig. It's not mentally taxing. Now that I'm processing other stuff, food is less difficult. I don't have the mental space to fight about food I guess. But like, I am in a fitness challenge with some other friends (A POC group of ladies and theydies) and I realized that I can't even do that right now. I can do the step challenge because it doesn't require anything from me, my Garmin just has to sync. But I opened the challenge spreadsheet a few times today and I just couldn't. Feels dumb. Not dumb though. Man, I already have so many emotions and now I have MORE?!?! This is ridiculous. HOW MANY EMOTIONS CAN ONE GIRL HAVE? Anyway, I also today got an email from my ex (before evan) apologizing

Lately I've been working on my organization, which is a hot mess. I've developed a block schedule for myself  -- needs tweaking, but it's already been helpful at getting things done. I have alarms set up at the end of each block to let me know to move on. Noting that I am currently unemployed, this is my typical morning: Wake up to pee Go back to bed Scroll on phone Maybe doze off again Wander over to computer Reddit or chat with friends Think about all the things I need to do When I actually try to be productive, it's not great either. For example, if I think "I need to clean the bedroom." So maybe I start by picking up clothes. I start to put away my husband's clothes and notice his closet is a mess, so I start organizing it. But this isn't where his shoes go! I take his shoes out to the shoe rack by the front door. It's gritty from all the dust and sand -- we live in Hawaii with jalousie windows... and also SOMEONE walks through the apartment wi