Pixel Imperfect

Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby? right now I feel invisible to you like I'm not real. Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you? Why'd you turn away? Here's what I have to say... I was left to cry there Waitin' outside there Grinnin' with the lost stare, That's when I decided... Why should I care? Cause you weren't there, when I was scared, I was so alone. Yeah, you need to listen. I'm startin' to trip, I'm losin' my grip And I'm in this thing alone. Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody's place? When you turn around can you recognize my face? You used to love me you used to hug me, but that wasn't the case, everything wasn't okay. I was left to cry there Waitin' outside there Grinnin' with the lost stare, That's when I decided... Why should I care? Cause you weren't there when I was scared, I was so alone.You, you need to listen,

Just to letcha know, my away message said %n for every time the song said you... Girl Wonder Ava: brb I have to go to the store navyallthewaybby: ok Auto response from Girl Wonder Ava: There's something about navyallthewaybby that makes me fly, navyallthewaybby's just like a heart attack, just the kind I like. and there's something about navyallthewaybby's kiss so haunting and strange, That made me feel so good... Girl Wonder Ava: Back navyallthewaybby: Cool navyallthewaybby: about your away message (i'm not taking this serious btw) but my kissing sucks navyallthewaybby: ask the expert Girl Wonder Ava: Yea wasn't about you Girl Wonder Ava: You should see this phat dress my sister bought off of e-bay navyallthewaybby: ... Girl Wonder Ava: Its red velvet 1940's authentic hand made swing dress navyallthewaybby: awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! navyallthewaybby: i've gotta learn sex Girl Wonder Ava: ... navyallthewaybby: swing! navyallthewayb

How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in" 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has Gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors." 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." 8. Dont use any punctuation marks 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 14. Put mosquit

how am I supposed to apologize when you block my e-mail?

Just one question.. why did you apologize and then try to burn me again??

Okay, Liz, I acted in haste. I'm sorry. I was at the school today and checked my e-mail and had time to think things over as I drove home. The thing is, I was just burning up because from where I'm coming from, Chris and I broke up because of Human Relations Regulations, not because we didn't like each other anymore. He told me he still loved me. And I never said I was over him, because I can still think of better days, and it upsets me. I was upset because if you knew that Chris still said he loved me, then why would you be going out with him? Friends don't do that. But, maybe you didn't know. And from what I hear, the feelings aren't reciprocated. I don't know and, you're right, that's none of my business. I'm sorry I blew up at you. I was mostly mad at Chris. He's liked you for longer than he'll admit too, I know it and I could see it in his eyes when he was home. He just started acting differently, while we were still going out. I w

Hey, this is my picture on face the jury! I was told I should put it on here

Haha, you know what's funny! The recruiters were right about him all along! That was a bunch of shit. I wish I could appologize to AD2 Hayes

Oh My Gosh! I just realized I totally didn't tell everybody what happened. Well I was dating this guy and he goes to the US Coast Guard Academy, and he can't date enlisted. Well I signed up for the Navy but nothing was like set in stone. I was planning on doing NROTC. I made the final decision to enlist a few months later. When we broke up in January, he immediatly began taking more of a liking towards this girl who I was good friends with. He came home for President's Day weekend and didn't tell me. That sort of bothered me, but not so much as that he went out with Liz when he got home. I discover that he really really likes her. He's liked her for a long time. I think he was just to much of a pussy to break up with me himself, and just waited it out. He couldn't just be a man and be straight with me and tell me the truth! You know, there's this guy at my youth group who touches girls where he shouldn't... when Chris came to youth group... he couldn&

Well, I decided that I don't really care if I offend anyone one on this site anymore, because if you get hurt, you know who I'm talkin' too, you deserve it. Chris? My friends are all in agreement that you're a jerk. Anne Marie says you've lost all your appeal since you did this. I mean, damn boy, why couldn't you've just been straight up. I think that's the worst. Can't do the dirty work yourself? Can't break up with me? Just wait for me to do it? I cannot frickin' believe you let us do what we did over the holidays. I really thought you weren't like the other guys. I thought you weren't a jerk, but I'm tellin' you this straight. I feel used. I will never put up with a guy like you again. I cannot believe you had the audcity to ask me for dating advice, Chris. Want some advice? Get a vasectomy. We need no more of you. Too much? Fine. Be celibate forever. Oh, and the way that my girls suggest I get back at you? Well, t

What was I talkin' 'bout yesterday? I don't remember, but I did, however, find $20 today and I'm gonna treat myself to Jack-In-The-Box before babysitting. Hey, OMG, Tanya had the greatest idea of how to get back and you know control those "muderous rages" but I can't say on here. It's really great. I'll have to tell PC2 Jones. He'll think it's great because murder... well that's sorta illegal and would probably withhold me from the Nuclear Program, among other things. Especially if I was convicted But hey, I saved $131 today, spent $20. Yes, I rock! Oh and did I tell you that the Admiral (c/o of recruiting) is commin to Zone Six of NRD Atlanta on March 16th? :-D I will, of course, be there! DEP Yeoman of NRS Greenville. I'm excited. HTC Calmes sez I have to spiffy up the office first, so, I'm working on the DEP Pool board... Oh, and SCYC 2003 is March 7-9! I'm soo excited! Ceili Rain is going to be there! Jesse Manib

So, I guess Liz doesn't wanna talk to me either. Hey I went to the recruiters today, told PC2 Jones that I was pissed at the world. We talked and I ranted and raved. It was fabalous. g2g talk more lata

Am I really a bitch? All the time? I didn't think I was... I mean, I know that I can be a bitch sometimes... but I'm not just a flat out bitch am I? Someone please tell me.... If I never know, I can never change...

Just to ease your mind and so you don't get your tighty whities up in a bunch, my "premonitions" aren't always true... Usually the bad ones (like the really really bad ones) dont' come true. I have a lot about really bad ones, I think it's my inner evil twin (triplet?) trying to crawl out. Hey one more think. Work sucked today because I was so upset I couldn't concentrate and nearly gouged my veins out by accident. Okay? I kept thinking of someone and why her? Why one of my good friends from school? Why not some girl who I just don't know??!! Okay I've got a poem I wrote a couple years ago, but I can't find it now... I'll post it later...

Chris, before you read this, when they say stuff about you... they were just trying to cheer me up, okay. I don't mean any of it!! Last thing for tonite... Okay tonite at youth group, Patrick was there and I walked over and was hugging him. And then I stood on my tiptoes and whispered in his ear "Guess what" and he was like "what" and I said "He likes" and that's about as far as I got before I started crying. And Patrick was like "He found another girl?" And I just nodded and was crying. And Patrick told me he'd never find anyone as good as me. And then Christen came over and Patrick told her and then she said "man, he's just a stupid life guard! (they've always call him a life guard. being silly) He doesn't know anything. There's no one out there better than you." etc etc and patrick then picked me up a little higher and spun me around. I started giggling and he put me down and he kissed his and an

Okay, Next, to explain the call-me-sexy and call-me-beautiful modes. I had to explain it to Banks, so I'll just c'n'p. FairiKitty (8:42:38 PM): Right now, I'm in the, as I say, call-me-sexy mode. Not a relationship or anything romantically involved. The call-me-sexy mode is where I flirt and tease. I don't want relationships until I get into the call-me-beautiful mode navyallthewaybby (8:42:52 PM): lol FairiKitty (8:43:17 PM): So if anyone falls for me during the call-me-sexy mode, they usually get hurt FairiKitty (8:43:39 PM): Because I'll flirt and tease one day and the next day I'm flirting and teasing someone else navyallthewaybby (8:43:48 PM): i noticed.... Please don't inquire as to why his explanation was necessary. Okay, I'm wondering if I have my mom's psuedo psychic abilites. Sometimes my mom can know what happens before it does. Really super weird. She knew that tiffany was over exagerating her "hurt" ankle

Guy at youth group, Roy Harmon. We all were watching a video from SCYC last year and then APeX showed up. And Tiffany was like, "Hey Mary! It's Gene!" Because, as I have professed before, I am going to marry Gene Monterastelli (what a cool last name!). And I explained to Roy that I was going to marry Gene. Roy asked "Why? Is he hot?" "Well," I said "Yea, he's sorta hot. He's gotta great personality, he's real cute.." and at this point, Roy says "Oh, no.. Never marry a man for personality! You'll regret it for the rest of your life," "So, marry for money?" I ask. "Marry for looks first, then money," and then I say, "Well, you know I gotta marry someone who can dance" "Yea" he says "Yea, that's like number one for me." "Wow! Well, I don't know too many white guys who can dance" he says "Yea," I say, "I know about two... may

Okay, okay! Sorry, babe, but I am declaring my self single for the next few months. It's just got to be. Another, sabbatical? Not quite. There'll be nothing quite like that sabbatical. But I've got to be able to think with an unclouded mind. I like being single now, anyway. If I'm not with him, I'd rather be single for a while. I don't mind going out to movies or whatever with people but, boys just "don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself!" There's something about you that tears me inside out whenever you're around And there's something about you that makes me fly You're a heart attack, just the kind I like And there's something about your kiss haunting and strange That makes me feel so good I get a feeling, you get a feeling, we got a feeling Like we're alive!! And Mother, We just can't get enough

I need to go dance....

He likes Liz... He likes Liz.... I knew this was coming... :'-( I'm in no position to say anything about it, anymore...

So, AFJROTC ball was last night. It was a lot of fun! Actually, my dress was taped to me up top. I am sooo glad I did that, I'm tellin' ya! It was such a sexy dress too. Tite red hot number. Justin told me I was the hottest girl there (I think he was just having too much fun dancing). Banks said same thing, but mushier. See, I'm in the call-me-sexy stage, not call-me-beautiful stage. But... I didn't really dance w/ Banks too much b/c he's really white and just can't. He doesn't know how to loosen up (what is it with these guys?). And I couldn't slow dance too much because he's really really tall. Well, this was a high school dance, so what kinda dancing do you think was going on? Booty. All of it, I swear. For slow song, we had Feelin' on your booty by R. Kelly. (Okay, sure there were more, but that dancing was half booty / half slow.) Okay, I'm admiting it, but I did more than my fair share of booty dancing. Last night I wanted

AFJROTC Ball was today. Was fun! Went w/ James. Saw Ryan Smith (DEP RLPO). He's kinda sexy too, but I didn't wanna make his gurL mad, so I didn't dance w/ him. Danced w/ Bridges a lot, he's a good dancer for a white guy. Then I gave him back to his gurL. Danced w/ a guy named Justin. He told me I was the hottest girl there, But, yea.. he had toooo much fun dancing. All in all a good night. But I'm tired. If you wanna know more, I might write more 2morrow.

Man! I am such a GIRL !

This st00pid vulnerability thing. Are you understanding what I mean by it? I may not be thinking right. The happened to me a lot, though never to this extent, obviously, that was a very differerent relationship than any other in the world. But what I mean is I used to confuse friendship for something else a lot. Like my junior year, you remember my junior year. Sad sad stuff. But I was just lonely I guess. I mean, this shouldn't even be an issue yet. I thought I was swearing off guys. Man.... I'm just an attention _____. Sigh. Oh well. Life will figure it's self out. Love mary (you wanna know what's funny. I don't remember writing that "than any other in the world" bit. I looked up at the TV and looked back and it was there. This facinates me to no end.)

I'm vulnerable and afraid of falling for a close, warm, safe good friend. I miss compainionship. I miss being held a frickin' lot. I just miss having that someone and now I'm feeling a little alone and a little vulnerable. I just need strength and well, I'm glad I've got good friends who aren't that kinda guy. You know?

I just realized how much I hate going home. I usually go to the recruiters after work. A couple times, like today, I went to Jimmy's to work on computer stuff. Home is sooo boring. Nobody is ever home. ... Blahhhhh.

You know what's funny? I was dissing girls the other day when I was talking to Matt. But it's true, girls are mean. High maintanence. Inside all girls is just a little bit of b ! + ( #, you know... Sigh...sorry babes... But some can keep that down. You just need to know how to treat 'em right. Girls are like phones they like to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong buttons you'll be disconnected!

Athena Breannon Evandale. I will have to write a story about her. And her mother, Adrianne Evandale. Her "special friend" Ryan Smith. (what a plain last name, but that's his true name.) See, Athena is all ribbon's and bows. She was borne of an accident. Adrianne was attacked by someone whom she had thought was a friend. That "friend" is now in jail. Athena was the product of the attack, but Adrianne loves her more than life. "It's amazing," she says, "how much you can love somone. I never knew love so great and so deep until there was Athena. Children are just so amazing. You never really know..." I don't think I'll ever meet a girl like Athena though. I really don't.

One night while I lay in bed, trying unsuccessfully to sleep, I spotted my warm fuzzy hanging on the wall. Don't know what a warm fuzzy is? Well it's a lot of yarn basically. Haha, no, it's a pom-pom of sorts of different colored yarn. Well, anyway, when I saw it, It reminded me of that time that Patrick and I were running the wrong way down those flat escalator thingys in Newark International Airport. We saw a nun sitting with her baggage. Tied to her black rolling suitcase was a red and white warm fuzzy. Patrick: "Cool! It's a nun!" Mary: "I wonder if she's going to Toronto?" Patrick: "Let's ask her!" So we did. We stood on the flat escalator thingy until we got to the end (we went the right way this time, however I was sitting on the railing. It's just a thing that must be done.) We walked up to the nun and she smiled politely at the cheerful and most likely hyper teenagers standing before her. Patrick: &qu

Last night, when I had finished Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. I turned on my Smashing Pumpkins and curled up in bed. It was about 2200 when my music suddenly left me. Upset, I looked up and the clock was off. I heard Dad yell "Mary, where's your flashlight?" Ugh... I made my way carefully downstairs. Cats and claws and darkness are surely bad for one's health. I lent Dad the flashlight and he found matches and various candles. I took a book of matches and two liquid parafin candles and my flashlight. I found my discman and was once again able to sleep to the soft sounds of The Smashing Pumpkins . The power did not come back on and I slept until 0730. I crept downstairs and asked Dad if I was expected to go to work. He said the roads were probably awful. I had already looked out the window and deemed the roads driveable, but I decided to keep that to myself. I returned to bed and read a bit more of Hostile Waters as I had not more fantasy f

my electric toothbrush hieronymous has a superiority complex because he thinks that hes so much better than me and we often get into arguments over which one of us is cooler and he always wins and its very disappointing when your toothbrush beats you in a debate but thats ok because next time im going to be ready for him and im going to say "yeah your name might be hieronymous and thats really cool and stuff but i can do this" and then im going to brush my teeth with him because everyone knows that brushing your teeth with your enemy is the highest insult around because you cant be very cool if somebodys using you to clean their teeth but then hieronymous said "hey i dont have to take that from a dork like you" and then picked me up and decided that i would be a good substitute for dental floss which was very degrading Patrick's away message!

Last night I think I may have gotten two hours of sleep. It took me a long time to fall asleep. My mind was stuck in middle earth, (I've been reading The Fellowship of the Ring ) I was finally able to get to sleep around 0100, and when my eyes finally closed, the sleep was restless and fitful. I had dreams and nightmares. When I awoke, I cried tears upon tears. My heart was aching and my body was racked with sobs. I have no clue what brought this about. I prayed and pleaded. I read my bible, pleading with the Lord to show me something to calm my heart and ease my mind. Eventually I fell back to sleep. That was at 0230. I woke again at 0630. Those sad daydreams and visions were upon me again, but I did not cry. I told myself, "He is not so passionate. Do not make him out to be the romancer you dream of. You will be disapointed." I lay there and dreamed and sighed. I dreamed of the lovely girl Athena. Only I know who the precious girl is. Strong and brave, but so delic

I just realized I still have my handle on this as CJP's Angel. Well, that's not really correct any longer is it? Must change it... And must delete the AIM personality CJPsAngel. Consider it done.

wow... I didn't know t.A.T.U. was lesbian pop! Well, I do now... check this out: And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed They say it's my fault but I want her so much Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain Come in over my face, wash away all the shame When they stop and stare - don't worry me 'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me I can try to pretend, I can try to forget But it's driving me mad, going out of my head Silly russians

james, you know I didn't really mean that you're st00pid. It's just that you were sitting behind me and you said something about that so I wrote that. ahaha fun stuff

If your listening, woah... Sing it back, oh.... String from your tether unwinds. Up and outward to bind. oh.. oh. I was spinning free. Woah... With a little sweet and simple numbing me. Are you listening? Woah... Sing it back, oh...Tell me what do I need. When words lose their meaning. oh oh.. I was spinning free. Woah.. With a little sweet and Simple numbing me. Stumble till you crawl. woah... Sinking into sweet uncertainty If you're listening, woah... Sing it back. oh... I'm still running away. Woah... I won't play your hide and seek game. I was spinning free Woah...With a little sweet and simple numbing me. What a dizzying dance oh... This sweetness will not be concerned with me! No the sweetness will not be concerned with me!

Okay, so like, I got turned down for my NROTC scholarship. Well, this would have been bad if I had wanted to go NROTC, but the same day, I found out that I've got a nuc seat opening up for me in June! :-D Happiness all around! So, I'm enlisting in the nuc program fur shure now! Yayy! St00pid banks sez that nuc is his BACKUP. Whatever...He think's he's gonna get the NROTC *snicker* Well that's all fur now.... bye freaks'n'geeks...

I know this really super guy. He came to my work today and brought me flowers. This is a guy who really knows how to treat a girl. He's really sweet. I came home and he had a stuffed animal, it was a love monster that I saw at the store the other day and "aww"ed over. So he got it for me. He's always there when I need him. I can always trust him and rely on him for everything. I love you, daddy!

And I wonder when I sing along with you, If everything could ever feel this real forever? If anything could ever be this good again? The only thing I'll ever ask of you, Gotta promise not to stop when I say when... She sang...

Okay, to explain the different sexies, because I hear it needs explaining. There's smooth sexy, rugged sexy, cute sexy, tough sexy (similar to rugged, but sexy in it's own way). There's also hmm, how do I put this nicely. I don't wanna say scrawny pale guy, but you know those emo and punk and geek guys... I'll just call it emo sexy... Next! original, sharp (as in sharp dressed man )and several others. Let's see... examples... Firemen are tough sexy... sting is smooth sexy, andy b. is emo sexy, military men are sharp sexy, ben affleck is cute sexy, hmm, cowboys are rugged sexy. Collin Farrel (sp?) and Orlando Bloom are pretty hot, too. Orlando Bloom is my current fave, if anyone was wondering what I want for Valentines day... I'm over Ben Affleck, he's to cutesey and toooo hooked w/ J.Lo. Oh, and of course, anyone who makes good music is sexy. I define good music as any music that someone out there honestly believes in their heart of hearts is bea

Well, court went well, but that was two days ago. Yesterday, I almost fell into that place where I'm convinced love is just a fairytale told to young impressionable children. Today, I caught a case of the giggles from outside my car window while speeding down a back road and singing "I wanna rock and roll all night" at the top of my lungs. I laughed and giggled all the way up and down those hills. It was fantabulous .... I love music! I love laughter! "Don't stand so close to me" came on *103 on the way home... that's one of my favorite songs... (sting has an ever-sexy voice. Smooth sexy) I just love music and dancing. It makes me so happy... Hahah, I sound soooo mushy! Shoot me :-P

In twelve hours I'll be at the frickin court house trying to get out of $243... RWWAAARRR.... And it's all my fault... But... Nothing happened to her car! Why'd she have to call the police anyway! Well... oh welll... It'll be all good as soon as I take ARC.... >:-P That's an angry person, childishly sticking his/her tongue out at the city,

RWAAARR! Why didn't anybody tell me that the municipal court closed at 1700??? Grrrr...

7am. The garbage truck beeps as it backs up and I start my day thinking about what I’ve thrown away... Could I push rewind? The credits traverse signifying the end but, I missed the best part. Could we please go back to start? Forgive my indecision Then again, you’re always first when no one's on your side... But then again, The day will come when I want off that ride 11am. By now you would think that I would be up but, my bed sheets shade the heat of choices I've made.... What did I find? I never thought I could want someone so much, 'cause now you’re not here and I need that loving feel. Forgive my indecision, I am only a man... Then again, you’re always first when no one's on your side... But then again, The day will come when I want off that ride 12 pm and my dusty telephone rings...Heavy head up from my pillow. Who could it be? I hope its you. It's you! Then again, you’re always first when no one's on your side But then again, The day has

AND GUESS WHAT???? Hahaha, I've got that jacket! I know you thought that the one my sister got was the one I wanted but I have the one I wanted all along. The one she got was a down jacket. I got a leather one, just like I always wanted. I'm really glad you didn't get it now.... b/c it holds no memories... It's pure ME! (And alex, b/c she has one just like it, but mine is cooler b/c it was the last on in the whole store!!!!)

This week, uneventful as of yet. Court date is Tuesday. Yayyyy.... Umm... less talk these days... Anyway, I'm going to be doing work w/ recruiters and jimmy this week... going to try to get a new job as may be in town for a few more months. (toldja it'd be boring...) Actually, I'm feeling a LOT better than I have in a long long time. I'm not just okay, I'm groovy! 'Cept for the court thing... I'm feeling groovy all around! ('Cept for this jerk cut me off... but I can get over that....) hahaha okay bye

There are a few things in life that you have to remember, one important one is this: Everything good, no matter what the circumstances are, will eventually fade away. The important thing to do, is learn from them and never forget the good times. Because the good times maybe the only things that pull you out of bad times. Love is the only substance in the world that can make you feel untouchable, or feel like you're six feet under. Love fits the above category, with time it grows or dies, and the best thing you can do is hold on to the memories and not be afraid of loving. Because to be afraid to love, is to be afraid to live.

Mama, just killed a man...put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead.... Mama, life had just begun but now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama, didn't mean to make you cry. If I'm not back again this time tomorrow carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters...

Yay! I am the new (first!) DEP Yeoman for NRS Greenville! Hey, I practically do all the stuff anyway! Think it'll help me get Yeoman when I go to boot camp? Hope so... Justin "Jutt" is the DEP Recruit Cheif Petty Officer and Ryan is the Recruit Leading Petty Officer. Exquisite choices in my personal opinion... :-P

Man, if strangelybeingme or jobabe1621 read this... I can't tell you how obvious it was that you are the same frickin person, if not two friends workin together to mess with people... That was lame. Grreeaaat entertainment for me though! jobabe1621 really knew how to be a b****! I was impressed. Reminded me of jealous highschool girls... If anyone wants to know, strangelybeingme IMed me and we were chattin and then jobabe1621 IMed me and told me to back off, that strangelybeingme was her bf. and we were like talking and she was trying to piss me off. It was really funny actually, and every time she would say something, he would say, that's a lie. That's a lie... and obvious that they were the same person, if not two people working closely. So, great entertainment, but lame. And they logged off at the same time. Fun stuff! :-P Feel free to harass them! I intend to on my other screen name(s) :-)

Oh hey dude, you remember that time that we--- oh yea, dude, that was great.. and the time when we-- oh man, priceless!

Oh, and people, don't get all touchy because I called you freaks. That's my new favorite term of endearment! I mean it in love, okay? freakazoids...

Okay, please everybody read this quote: "I meant it, but I didn't know what I meant... Everyone knows diary's are just full of crap." Okay? And if that's not enough for you people, I will just stop writing how I feel in my dairy. No more stuff about guy problems, at all. Okay? Now shut up and leave me alone, freaks I never said I hated him. EVER. I was, however, pissed at the CGA... because they changed him. But I was angry at the time. "I mean't it, but I didn't know what I meant" Meaning I didn't mean it, you freaks. Anyway, I wasn't pissed at him. In fact, I was more pissed at myself most of the time. If you check out Monday, January 27 , you'll see that I was upset because I was a "shitty girlfriend." All I ever said about him was that I'm crazy and he really upset me. Geez, it's not like you people are supposed to understand this! It's MY dairy. You guys are reading wayyyy to much into this. (Oh and th

Hey! I realized something. They way I drive is just like the way I live. Most of the time I have a destination. Sometimes the freedom of the open road exhilarates me. Then there are the times when the darkness of the night closes in on you. Sometimes you're not paying enough attention and you crash. Sometimes you close your eyes for a second and your whole world falls apart. I have driven around for a couple hours before, no destination, just taking time to think. Then later I regret the waste in gas. Sometimes I don't like the turn and exits I take, but I keep on going. Sometimes I'm dissapointed to have to come home, and sometimes I look forward to it. Sometimes I just want to drive off into the night... somewhere unknown and forget life. I want to do things I haven't done before, but I can't. Then there are the days that wonder what it would be like to ram into the Jersey Barriers or the overpass columns at 65-70 miles an hour. Not often does that happen anymore.

"I told you! Birthday's are relationship-killers! If anything is wrong with a relationship, a birthday will bring it up!" a quote from Seinfeild.

OMG! Oh my GOSH! You will not believe what just happened! I just left youth group, and after everybody left it was Jimmy, Anna, and me in the parking lot and we were stopped at Jimmy's van talking. And we hear this like screeching of tires in the Child Development services parking lot and it's this white car and this black guy jumps outta the car and starts running like a bat outta hell And Jimmy said something like it looked like he did something wrong and I called 911 on my cell and Jimmy took it and he was talkin to the operator or whatever and he starts walkin across the parking lot to see where the guy went. I was sooo freaked out, I though jimmy was gonna get shot or something (he didn't) Anyway, what it was, was this black guy had held this guy up at gun point and stolen his car! But there were a bunch of cops down town so he left the car and ran off When I was driving home, there is that stretch of Hampton where there is like NOBODY and I was freaking out like OM

I feel really great... the food fast :-) We had a benediction and confession and a prayer vigil last night. It helped me sooo much. I got rid of some baggage and met some great people. I feel a whole lot better than I have recently. I haven't been sad all weekend! I'm working on it, getting over him slowly but surely. This really really helped. I walked outta that confessional grinning, I think. And then Kyle, Alex(I think) Christie and I said the rosary w/ the Mysteries of the Light! Very cool. I felt light as air last night... :-) Now... slightly heavy... ohhh fried chicken and macaroni... :-)