Natalie: Hello, David. I mean sir. Oh, shit, I can't believe I just did that. Oh and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice.
Prime Minister: Well, you could've said "fuck", and then we all would have been in trouble.
Natalie: Oh thank you sir. I had an awful premonition that I was going to fuck up my first day. Oh piss-it




[talking about her ex-boyfriend]
Natalie: He says no one's going to fancy a girl with thighs the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end.
Prime Minister: Right. Goodness. Well, well. You know, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered.




[At the altar, just before Peter is married]
Peter: No surprises?
Mark: No surprises.
Peter: Not like the stag night?
Mark: Unlike the stag night.
Peter: Do you admit the Brazilian prostitutes were a mistake?
Mark: I do.
Peter: And it would have been much better if they'd not turned out to be men?
Mark: That is true
.




[on sheets of poster board to Juliet]
Mark: With any luck by next year
Mark: I'll be going out with one of these girls.
[pictures of beautiful supermodels]
Mark: But for now, let me say
Mark: Without hope or agenda
Mark: Just because it's Christmas
Mark: (And at Christmas you tell the truth)
Mark: To me, you are perfect
Mark: And my wasted heart will love you
Mark: Until you look like this
[picture of mummy]
Mark: Merry Christmas

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