There is a "Biggest Loser" competition within Belmont Abbey College. You know, that reality show that you allow yourself to watch because, yes, you're rotting your brains, but no, this show is not a crime against humanity (see Real World). The winner recieves a great prize: potentially, an eliptical machine or treadmill. Wonderful! I would love an eliptical! I really would, it's my favorite among the exercise machines (excluding, say, a weight bench, which is not really a machine). Oh, but sorry, I cannot lose any weight. I could lose a 5-10 pounds, not that I need to I suppose, but after that I would surely waste away. 5-10 pounds cannot win a "Biggest Loser" competition. But wait-- who says I'm fit? Thin does not equal fit and fit does not equal thin! I could surely benefit from an eliptical, but alas, I'll need to put on about 100 pounds before I can even think of trying to win the competition...
Dear Frog-- What can I say but: I told you so? I don't mean to sound so harsh, but from the beginning, I figured I was destined to "fuck up," as I so put it. And, well, I fucked it all up. I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but so it goes. It is in my nature. Did I not tell you this before? Perhaps, someday there will be one whom I will not sting. I will change my very nature to help this person cross the stream. Oh, but dear Frog, I feel now that I cannot say that I wish I hadn't messed everything up. As wonderful as our times were together, I feel I would have stung you eventually. As you nurse your wounds, know I will always remember you. I hope that one day you can forgive me. Scorpion _______________________________________ The Scorpion and the Frog A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Becaus...
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