Exam week is upon us and I have been... studying? No! I've been catching up on episodes of The Deadliest Catch on Discovery . It's about crab fishing in Alaska and it's probably my favorite show. I really ought to be figuring out this progressivism stuff and memorizing quotes for gov't, but to be honest, I care as much about this class as Tiffany cares about anything political. (Yeah, we all know how apathetic she is.) Plus, I'd missed the past three episodes. I went online and found out that the Northwestern has a website and everything, so if anyone ever wants to buy me a gift, you can get me a shirt from them! Anyway, tomorrow I have my gov't exam at 1300 and have to be at work at 1500. Tuesday, I think I have the day off. It'll be spent writing an essay on the history of theatre starting with worshippers of Dionysus and ending with, well now. How about I end with Spring Awakening or something. That's a good, hip, new musical. Speaking of musicals, I...
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Why were we at this place? This small wood and stone building with large windows set in the middle of the woods. We had hiked all day to get here. Myself, Michael, David, Mary Ellen, Andrew, McLeod, Gabriel and others. I stuck close to Andrew. We were not together. We hadn't been in sometime, but I could not get over the feelings. It confused many people, not excluding Andrew. There was this creature in the woods we had to study. We had brought enough supplies to stay a week. I wish it had been that simple. On the first day, we got to the house safely. I did the women's work, unpacking the bags, setting up the sleeping areas. Mary Ellen worked in the kitchen preparing the evening meal. The men and the scientists had a meeting in the common room to discuss the creature. From what I heard it sounded something like a snake. Snakes, while a little creepy, were not much to be afraid of. I did not understand the expedition, but I was brought at Michael's request to be eyes and ea...
Oh dear. I've had two glasses of wine, and I'm gonna tell you. I'll tell you. I'm totally attracted to older men. One of my managers is kinda yummy. Plus some other yummy men. A professor. A communications coordinator. BUT NOT the hypnotist. No. Not sexy. What's sexy? I am. I KANT (kant, ha) wait until I graduate. Then, I will hit on aforementioned professor even more than I do now. Assuming I ever see him again.
When addressing the discussion of faith versus works many people cite Paul, particularly in Galatians chapters two and three. However, Paul does not address work, but rather works of the law. “Works of the law” is understood to be the regulations of the Jewish Torah, whereas “works” is generally good deeds. Circumcision, sacrifices and dietary restrictions are just a few of the things that fall under the category “works of the law.” Works as many people argue it is acts of charity: care for widows and the poor, love of one’s neighbor. Works as charity is the definition given by James, not Paul. For Paul faith and works can be better explained as trusting in God versus trusting in the law.
What is wrong with my suitemates???? They're loud, obnoxious and none too clever. I can't wait to move out. After it snowed about two inches, melting into slush by 10 am: "Oh my GOSH! It's a blizzard! What are we going to eat? I guess we'll just have to eat oatmeal and water because that's all I've got in my room." "I am NOT going out there. I don't have my snow boots, my ski pants or jacket." After the VaTech incident: "Well, you know he was South Korean, right? Everyone KNOWS that South Korean's hate us! They're all terrorists. He's probably been planning this since 9/11." After a German student, a friend, came by to visit them (refering to his accent): "Oh my gosh. He talks just like a Nazi!" Every day talk: "Do you know what I did? I ate... a Big Mac." "OH MY GOD! What is WRONG with you!!! We need to go running. NOW!" "I don't want to wear a tank top." "Oh, why not...
Email I got this morning: To the Abbey Community: I wanted to alert you to a transition in the Student Affairs team. Kristy Dudley is no longer in the position of Director of Residence Life and has left the college. Effective immediately Abby Curfman will serve in the position of Director of Residence Life . I have every confidence in Abby and her residence life team to ensure a smooth transition is in place during this critical time of the academic year. Dr. Lucas Lamadrid Vice President for Enrollment Management & Student Affairs Belmont Abbey College ut in omnibus glorificetur Deus ------------------------------------------------------------ Now, it sounds to me like Kristy either quit or was fired. I'm indulging in a fantasy involving a screaming match, things being thrown and other optional drama.
Here I am! Sorry for not posting, I do miss it, but so often I find I have very little to post. Working has been keeping me busy. Contemplating what the fuck to do about some certain thing has been keeping me busy. Oh, and I'm very anxious about next week. I'm sure one of my readers knows why. Also, I have not been altogether well. I've been having random dizzy spells, combined with bouts of fatigue and weakness-- kinda feels like my blood sugar is low. I think it may be that for the fatigue because then I drink a soda or something and I feel a bit better. Usually, though, I still have to take a nap. Oh, and my other problem, the one that I prefer not to say it's name because it's kinda gross, has been much worse lately. I mean, it's been going on for TWO YEARS. So, yeah, it kinda pisses me off. The problem itself is not... sooo bad. Well, it's not good, but I'd rather live with it than go to the doctor. (Yeah, I fucking hate going to the doctor, less t...
Wow... I just signed up for classes. Ummmm... expect not to hear from me again next semester. Because of my crazy academic career, I need to buckle down and really get moving. So, my schedule for next semester: EN202-01 English Literature with Fowler: MWF 1300-1350 EN304-01 17/18th Century British Literature with Harris: MWF 1100-1150 EN309-01 Literary Criticism with Hood: TR 0930-1045 FR201-01 Intermediate French I with STAFF: MWF 1400-1450 PH202-01 Intro Philosophy: Modern to Contemporary with Cooke: TR 1300-1415 TH202-05 Christian Thought:Reformation and Modern with Pitt: TR 1100-1215 So, that's 18 credit hours, plus about 30 hours studying a week, assuming that I read or write for two hours for each class, which I'll have to. Plus let's give me 14 hours for meal, I'll skip breakfast, 24 work hours a week, 8*7=56 sleep hours a week. Probably not doing KSW next semester. 18+30+14+24+56=142 hours 24*7=168 168-142=26 Yay! I have 26 free hours! Mostly to be spent napping...
It's two am and I have to get up at 6 am, but I can't sleep. I've been tossing and turning for two and a half hours. Thinking about the summer. Thinking about exams. Kuk sool won. Whatever. Balanced my checkbook. Checked my work schedule. I wish I could sleep. Anyway, there's just so much. Amber Waves : [ screams ] Oh, I don't want to do this any more. Honey, I can't. Let's just? Let's have fun now! Let's just go and go and go, because it's over. There's just too many things, too many things, too many things. Too many things. Rollergirl : Okay. Amber Waves : Let's go walk. [ sniffs ] Rollergirl : I don't want to leave this room. Amber Waves : [ laughs ] Me, either! I love you, honey! Rollergirl : I love you, Mom! Man, I love that movie. *sigh* Can't I just float away?
FUCK I haven't really felt much like writing lately. Can you tell? So, I'm bored and I don't want to sleep because I don't want to dream tonight. I've been kinda bummed lately. Why? Who could say? I've got such a bad understanding of my emotions anyway. So. Right. Here I am. I kinda wish I was in another country. Another county even! It would be fun to run away. I want to do something drastic. But... I must conform... I have class and work tomorrow. Boo (whores) ... I thought about stopping writing there because who likes to read long posts. I usually get better responses off of short posts. Who the fffff I've been cursing a lot lately. I love the way the word fuck and fucking sounds rolling of the tongue. It doesn't roll, actually. It catapults itself. It's such a raw, sharp word. FUCK. Fuck you. Fucking trees. Fucking noises. I've been feeling the need for touch lately. Andrew said I tried to steal a snuggle from him. Andrew won't snuggle b...
Today: 8AM: Wake Up! 9AM: American Government: gross and boring. St00 pid uber conservative teacher. You don't have tenure ! Ha! 10AM: Study and eff around on the internet 11AM: No, really, study. 12PM: Lunch! Yum! First one this week! 1PM: Crochet club! Gotta get those community service hours in! 2PM: Theology. Awesome prof, but kinda zzzzz 3PM: Pick up Tim 315PM: Andrew's thesis presentation on Aburdism! More on this later. 5PM: Daily Mass, maybe. 6PM: Dinner! w00t! First one this week! 7PM: Studdy and eff around on the net again. 8PM: No... really study! 9PM: Bum around in Tim and Andrew's suite. Open the 7 Deadly Zins! 11PM: Sleeeeep (I hope!) Today is not so bad. I have a lot of room for moving things around because I don't have work. But really... I have GOT to get some studying done!
You Know You're A Boogie Nights Fan When: You never take your skates off. You're not in pornography. Stop saying that! You're an actor! Your look is Chocolate Love 100%. You're ready to shoot, everyone better be ready. You want Amber to be your mother. You snort baking soda because you think it makes you look cool while you do it. When your girlfriend says, "Give it to me!" you start jumping up and down on the bed. You ask the people at Best Buy when they'll be getting new stereo systems with the TK- 421 modification. Someone asks you about a mix you've made, you say, "Yeah, I put all my favorite songs together..." and then proceed to get really aggravated when you talk about those bands who want you to listen to their songs in some fuckin ' order. I HATE THAT. You always order 7-up at bars. Every time you hear Jesse's Girl at a party, you say, "Ricky Springfield! He's a buddy of mine!" You compliment doughnut shops on ...
SGA Elections
The Student Government Association is having elections soon and fliers were posted around campus. So, there was a ruckus outside my room last night. Some fellows drinking. Whatever. Anyway, I get up in the morning and there is a lone Coors Light bottle sitting on the cement breezeway rail/wall thing. I go to Trig class and when I come back, the bottle was newly decorated. I guess the SGA is trying to come up with new ways to get students to vote!
I've been busy. It's been crazy. I have a paper for Theatre (yes, sigh) that is due today, not finished, two sections of trig homework, couscous for trig party and I have to work tonight! Arrg... Okay. Now it is 12:40. I've made the couscous. Everyone liked it! It was Italian Couscous with fresh italian parsley, grated romano and sundried tomatoes! So yum!!! I'm going to have it for dinner tonight. I haven't finished the paper or the homework, oh well. But, I really like my job! As much as one can like a job a Walgreens. I'm working in photo. Sooo much better than working at the front register. There is better stuff to do, cute pictures to look at. I don't have to deal with all the people at the front register. And, perhaps in a while, pharmacy might steal me. I don't know. I think I'm really going to like photo. Well, I gotta go to class. I have a lot to write, but I'll be busy for a while. Class, work, ksw, etc. I'll write soon. Don't l...
The VARSITY
The Varsity is supposedly an awesome place to eat in Atlanta. I haven't been there, but I drove past it!
I'm in an odd mood. Don't feel like saying much today, but I thought I'd at least do the Feast... Enjoy! Appetizer When you travel, which mode of transportation do you prefer? I love to fly, but it can be stressful. I love to take long car rides on some commercial-less stretch of highway, like in upstate PA or NY. Beautiful! Soup Have you ever met a blogging friend in person? Can't say that I have. If I'm ever in Milwaukee, I'll look D up! Salad When was the last time you were really, really tired? Usually after I have some freak out falling apart, I'm exhausted, because when you cry really hard, get really upset or angry it stresses your body and your muscles. That's why you crash afterwards. Main Course If you could have dinner with any one fictional character from a book or movie, who would it be? Valentine Michael Smith from Stranger in a Strange Land. I feel like he has so much to show the world. Dessert Fill in the blank: One day, I hope to see ___...
It's so good to be going to Kuk Sool Won again! I have to say, I missed it a lot. I'm not gonna lie, everything there reminds me of Jeff. And why shouldn't it? It was his before it was mine. Every time I work on a technique that we worked on together, every time we bow in, every time I practice with a Jyo Kyo Nym on some new techniques... But still, I enjoy going. It's a good work out and Pu Sah Bum Nym Jason is a good instructor. I miss the school in Anderson, though, and it will be good to be back for the summer. It's crazy to realize that I never gave myself time off. That I've had someone, some guy, for the past nine years. It's good, well I tell myself that at least, to be single and have me time. No, I lie. It sucks. I miss crawling into a warm bed. I miss kisses and hugs. I miss hand holding. Regardless, this was meant to be a post about Kuk Sool Won, not about relationships. So, right I'm working on Maek Chi Ki and Maek Cha Ki for techniques and ...
Okay, I've figured somethings out. People who have been giving me advice are right: I need to feel comfortable in my own skin. I need time to figure out who I am, what I want, what is importat to me. Me, not someone else: just me. I realized I've been in some way attached to a guy: dating, pursuing, being pursued, recovering from break-up since 1998. Those times would just melt into one another. There wasn't any "mary time" between break-up recovery and pursuing or being pursued for the last 9 years. Those are vital developmental years, you know? All of high school and five years after. I haven't had time to identify myself before I was slipping into something that fit well for him, or him, or him. No wonder my emotions are so fucked up. Oh, this is funny, by the way, guys are giving good advice and girls are like: "call me if you need to talk." Every single situation. I guess that's just how girls are. Girls I don't hardly know even. But, it...
~*~ Moody Monday ~*~ Indecent in·de·cent 1. offending against generally accepted standards of propriety or good taste; improper; vulgar: indecent jokes; indecent language; indecent behavior. 2. not decent; unbecoming or unseemly: indecent haste. 3. anything that delights Moody Monday founder, Greg. Now, not that I think it's terribly indecent, but pole dancing is becoming a form of exercise. Helps women to feel sexy, which I think is terribly important. But, no doubt, it is "offending against generally accepted standards of propriety or good taste" to many people
Cable Car-- The Fray -- slightly edited I never knew I never knew that everything was falling through That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue To turn and run when all I needed was the truth But that's how it's got to be It's coming down to nothing more than apathy I'd rather run the other way than stay and see The smoke and who's still standing when it clears Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime He's on your mind He's on your mind Let's rearrange I wish you were a stranger I could disengage Just say that we agree and then never change Soften a bit until we all just get along But that's disregard Find another friend and you discard As you lose the argument in a cable car Hanging above as the canyon comes between Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime He's on your mind He's on your mind And suddenly I become a part of your past I...
I have ripped the rug out from under my own feet. I'm just now realizing that gravity has its effects and you cannot ignore it for long, try as you might. Usually, you get that twisting, sickening feeling in your tummy when you fall. Why, then, is the feeling in my chest? Maybe it's been there all along. Maybe it's been there for the past two months and I'm just now feeling it.
Fray
Let him know that you know best 'Cause after all you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along And pray to God he hears you And pray to God He hears you Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
On February: I've realized that I have a lot of growing up to do. I need to figure out where I'm going and what I want. I have come to realize that I cannot rely on others to support my faith, at least not in whole. While friends who share your faith are important, if you can never hold yourself up at all, is it really your's to begin with? I have realized how few true friends I have, but how precious they are. I have found two friends here at school with whom I really mesh well. I've found a niche with them. They are real friends. I found that I can talk to them about anything. Yesterday, I went to Kuk Sool Won. I went with the intentions of telling my instructor that I would not be attending anymore. I got to class and I realized how much I had missed it. I know now that I am not in Kuk Sool Won for anyone else. I am in Kuk Sool Won for me, because I enjoy it. Until recently, I never gave myself the necessary time to grieve the loss of the best friend I ever had. I ne...