It seems like you've done a lot

There are times that I think back on my academic life, and realize how much smoother it all could have gone. I could have taken many more college classes while I was in high school, because the classes were free. I took two computer classes, one math class, and intro to Psych. I think sometimes of how I should've taken freshman English or world civ. A higher math classes. Biology. Things that every freshman must take.

If I had gone to college immediately and stayed in, I would have been out by 2006. 2005, even, if I had taken all those transfer classes in high school. I could've stayed at Greenville Tech for a year or two before transferring somewhere. I could be four years into a doctoral program right now!

But, you know what? Fuck it.

I think about the kids who drove me insane, and the business men who drunkenly tipped me way too much (thank you!); all the money blown on makeup, sushi and alcohol; all the fights and all the love; crying in bed with my roommates because I was feeling, for the first time, the fingers of depression grasping towards at my life; late night conversations that just seemed so meaningful; driving to nowhere in the middle of the night, not knowing what to do; spending hours alone in the woods of upstate New York (and being scared shitless by a giant fucking stag who jumped into the path before running off chasing something); the prayers sent up like incense; all the figuring out and wondering; the almost affairs, how many were there?

The constant journaling. And all the growing up. There was a lot of that. Much needed.

And, I feel like when you're around my age, many people don't peg you as an adult until you start doing "adult-y" things. Like getting married, having kids, buying a house. But you know what? I have a kick ass job IN MY MAJOR (a big deal, actually). I have good friends. And I'm applying to a doctoral program. Finally. I'm doing good.

Oh yeah. And I'm happy! And not medicated. :-)

I've done a good bit. I have done some living. I may not have backpacked through Europe yet (it's on my list), but I've done a good bit.